Something I wrote

I've been feeling a little like I'm at an amusement park lately, with all the holiday festivities a-goin-on that I have not had a chance to tap into my creative writing side & get a blog of all the fun-tastic craft-a-rific things I've been doing. I decided to post a little something I wrote a while back, just an observation piece of sorts that I like to read as a good laugh from time to time. All of the events that you're going to read about are true & I did not change any names to protect anyone. Enjoy.

(Warning--this is a personal matter and if you are at all embarrassed about the topics of womanly adornments, than this piece is not for you and I advice you just not to read it. However if you would like a little giggle, please read on.)

(Disclaimer: some people have reported tinkling, just a little, while reading this)

This story took place in March of 2007.




Yesterday Poppy & I set out on an adventure that made me realize that I'm growing into my wisdom...

A very good friend of ours is throwing a little party and it's an over night event, complete with pool access. So a few weeks ago, we purchased a swimming outfit for little Poppy Moon. Marty has one that still fits and I went to try mine on. Now it's not that it didn't fit exactly, it's just I've had this swimming costume longer than I've had either of my children--and things have changed. I have needed a new suit for a long time--I've been trying to gain support by wearing another one underneath, the straps tangled together to prevent them from falling down, just not very swim-worthy. After showing Adam, I said, "Do you think I could get a new swimmer?" He agreed--it must have been really bad.

So as I said before, Poppy and I sent out on an adventure to buy me new poolwear. I had done a little research on-line so I had some ideas. I went to the first store, picked out the one I saw on the computer. Man, it looked good or as good as it gets when you're a plus sized gal who is not in any sort of shape. The skirt was a little flirty, but didn't scream, I'm a skirt to cover up these scary thighs underneath. The top had a fun design and some support, and oh, my, god--it was like looking at a buffet for infants--if I could have sported a dickey underneath to hide the girls I would have went for it. So I went back to the racks to begin again.

Now I don't watch the news all the time, and I can't remember numbers very well, but I've seen a lot about the huge epidemic of obesity in the US (I'm a statistic, yeah!) And I don't know for sure, but I think that with the increase of waist sizes the average age of life expectancy goes down—so why is it that swimsuit designers (or any clothing designer for that matter) think that if you are over the size 14 that you adore big ass flowers all over the place? The tiny little eye patch suits don't have only flowers as an option--is it that much harder to make big suites without the flowers. And the neck lines--I think they figure, well if we distract from all the other "problem" areas with the tata extravaganza, no one will notice the thunder thighs in the pool.

I just about resorted to wearing a moo-moo into the pool and soaking up all the water so no one could swim. But at long last, I found a due-able suit. A High neckline, a little skirt and not a blasted flower in sight. The price was a bit of sticker shock to Adam--it was on sale honest, and damn it I'm a grown woman with grown woman swimsuit needs that just are not covered with $10 Wal-Mart jobby. The highlight of trying on suit after suit was the little giggle of Poppy as I changed--as though she was remembering the simpler time of her life, eating and sleeping, no complications of what to play with.

Now I tell you this story, not for pity, we've all tried on swim suits and gone through our own adventures--but I tell you to make you laugh, if not at yourself--then by all mean laugh your asses off at me. For a smile truly does keep the insides feeling sunny, even on the darkest of days. And that is how I'm growing in my wisdom.

Just Horsing Around

Neigh….

Another Christmas Gift I can check off my to do list (it’s getting shorter! Woot!!!)

I call this little filly Chic—don’t worry Avery; you can name her what ever your little purple lovin’ heart desires. I crafted her from a loverly pair of purple Chic jeans someone had given me a looooong time ago (I think she intended on me wearing them, not hackin’ them up and sending them to pasture). She also has about hmmm let’s say a good skein of yarn in her mane, some fiber fill stuffing her a touch, some rubber bands to hold things in place, and a dowel for clipity-clop-ablity.

All of these things I just had laying around so there was nothing purchased specifically for this gift (that’s the hubs favorite part). I did use some glue dots to hold the mane in place while I stitched it on in a few places with yarn (I bought medium sized glue ones last time and they are just too big for what I normally use them for—oops, so I figured I would not mind wasting them on this project). And her sparkly eyes are larger brads with a marker dot in the middle (still trying to come up with a better idea for the black though)

I did not dream up this wonderful idea on my own (I did of course tweak it a bit)—I found it in a book I’ve had for a number of years (Boredom Busters—it’s a Family Fun Magazine book. Published 2002 by Disney Enterprises ISBN # 078685361). The book is filled with many many great ideas to do and make with/for children. I have used this book time and time again and if it still available, I would highly recommend it for a book to add to your collection (speaking as a crafter, a teacher, and a mum on this one).

Now I just have to figure out how I’m going to wrap her???

Cardstock, embellishments, and stamps! Oh, my!

I finally started my hobby jobby at Down Memory Lane. It feels as though I have been waiting months to begin (actually I think it probable was). While I waited, my feeling of nervousness grew, nightmares of paper companies persisted, and worries presented themselves.

I was nervous about working in retail again—it has been way more years than I care to mention since I was in the fast paced world of would you like paper or plastic? (now I think you have to ask would you like to pay for that with paper of plastic) Oh, how things change. Would I even remember how to make change?

I feared that I did not know enough about the world of paper crafting—there are so many companies out there and I just know a handful of them—there are so many rules that I just don’t follow—I am not a scrapbooker (that’s denial) and I am not by any means a stamper, yet—I have so much to learn, how can I even begin to answer someone’s question about anything. Those fears became the things I thought about at night when I could get to sleep (maybe if I would have just stopped thinking about Fiskars, Heidi Grace, Basic Gray ((btw I love the Wassail Line)), Cosmo Cricket, ect. ect. I could have gotten some sleep)

I was worried that maybe this isn’t the right thing for my family. I would never see my husband, rarely see the boy, and poor little Moon does not remember ever being without her mum. I worried about how I was going to handle working all week and the weekend too. I worried about how my house was going to look after being gone all day. I worried about driving at night, what to wear, where to park, how was I going to catch on and remember everything. I worried. I worried.

Today, after one day of work under my belt, I can say—It doesn't worry me . NO WORRIES. No fears. Not even a bit of nervousness. I fell in love with the job straight away. I woke up both Sunday and Monday mornings wishing I could go to work at the store so I could learn more, practice what I learned, and help other craft minded souls. I wish I did not love my “real” job so much, that way I could be surrounded in cardstock, embellishments and stamps full time.

My head is spinning and swirling with so many ideas (I’m having a hard time getting them out right now because there are so many ideas and way to little time and I just don’t know where to begin). I’m reading everything about all the stuff I think I don’t know about. I’m trying to come up with reasons I have to stop in just so I can be in the store. I’m, I’m maybe I’m OC??? Or maybe I just found something that is the perfect fit.

Christmas Gift Set #1

I have a Christmas gift set finished!!! That means I'm making some progress, right?

This set was made using the Phone & Address kit from BoBunny and some extra tid-bits I had laying around.

I purchased the kit at my favorite paper crafting supplier (aka Down Memory Lane) The kit included 8 sheets of double sided printed paper, a 6x6 bare Naked Binder, 13 page protectors, some ribbon, a pattern sheet, text transparency, and 13 text sheets. Not to shabby.

So after finishing up this super easy project, I had tons of paper left over and the gift seemed to be lacking in bulk (I know, I know it's not how much you give it the feelings behind it) so I put paper on a little wooden perpetual calender the hubs had picked up at some convention he attended. The paper dressed it up nicely (and hid the company's name that was advertised on it) and made the gift a little heftier.

So being a paper crafter, I had no choice but to find something else that would hold still long enough for me to glue paper onto. I found a tin lunch box (the box that I had originally planed on filling with cards for this same wonderful person to receive) slapped some paper on it, converting it nicely into a card box--which then prompted me to make a stack of cards.

And there you have it. Christmas Gift Set #1. The most important part, I followed most of the directions.

I'm just not a Stamper (yet)

Last week I had a close to my heart party in my home & had a very nice outcome. My guest seemed to have fun, we made a cool project, I earned a lot of free stuff (bought a lot too), I had way too much food left over, but there was just something missing...

I discovered that I do not have a natural knack for Stamping. It might be because I just have not spent a lot of time doing it, or that I've never been taught the ins and outs of the Stamping world. Other peoples stamping just seems to turn out better than mine. My stamping is always sloppy and lacks a quality that expert stampers posses. (Sigh) Maybe the clean lines have always been too much for this dirty paper crafter.

So now I have a new goal--it's that time of year to be thinking of new years resolutions. I'm going to become an expert stamper by this time next year...hold up maybe expert isn't the title I'm going for, but I want my stamping to be much improved by this time next year. I will start by taking a trip to the library and checking out every possible book about stamping. I will ask for help from all my stamp-able friends. I will listen and soak up ever inky detail I can while working while the stamp club meets once a month on Sundays. I will become a Stamp enthusiast. I will.